Co-op and Online Dating

I recently Applied for a postion at the feed plant with the Co-op. I had an interview and tour of the plant yesterday and I am not quite sure if I am going to take the position or not, if I am offered it at least. When I was talking to people about the position, I kept hearing about how dirty the place is and that the work is sometimes pretty boring. During the tour, I definately noticed the dirty part of it, but it makes sense since they are dealing with all kinds of different feeds. You have to wear a hard hat and coveralls, this is essential because of the dirt and there are a lot of pipes/tubes and are pretty low. The postion is only temporary for six months and if I decide I do not like the place within the first three months I am allowed to go back to my old position. I feel like I could at least last six months there, it would let me see what othr kind of jobs are out there within the company. Lots of guys were also saying that the shifts they work over there are crap. I was oringally told that there was three shifts you have to work, 7-3, 3-11 and 11-7. When I was in the iterview they told me that the 11-7 shift was removed, which is good because I really did not want to work a graveyard shift. Now the do two weeks of 7-3 and then two weeks of 3-11, Monday to Friday. The other good thing about the position is that it actually pays a little more than my current position. I figure I could make a few extra bucks temporarily, plus I think with our contract my wage would be frozen at that higher rate untill my wage with my old position reaches that level.

Like I have said before, I have not had any experience in the relationship part of life. In the last few months I have signed up for online dating, just to see what would happen. I am not willing to pay for that type of thing, but the best I have gotten was one girl which I chatted with for a few months. I feel like women want a man who has some experience with the ladies, but I need to get some experience first. When it comes to online dating, I think my problem is that when I message a girl I tend to stick with the basic "Hey how is it going" message. I think the women want more in he messages that they recieve, but I am not quite certain what to write. I feel like if I say something wrong, I would just make things worse. I don't know why I think this way because I don't even know the girls. I am just the type of guy that does not want to hurt anyone so I tend to play things cautiously. I know I need to be more assertive in my life, but it is hard to change that by yourself.

Binging recovery

The last few days have been interesting. On Tuesday we had a guy get transfered over from the Food Wharehouse to the Agro location, but all everyone could talk about was the other guy that we are getting next week. This guy is the type of guy that thinks he knows everything. He has been working for the company for about 2 years now and he is always telling people how to do their job. He once told a guy how to stack his pallet and this guy has been doing this job for over 20 years. I really cannot wait for tuesday, so I can see how everyone really reacts to him working with us. I think he is a little out there, but I can at least have a conversation with him some times. I have a little higher tolerance level and I also went to school with one of his brothers. After work on Tuesday I had to stop at the store and pick up milk. For some reason I had a craving for junk food, so I bought a big box of the Old Dutch baked chips (16 small bags) and ate the whole thing that night, Plus I bought a bag of those individually wrapped mini resse cups. Since I have been tracking my calories lately with MyFitnessPal, I entered the chips and chocolate into my app and apparently I consumed just about 5000 calories that day. The best part is that I also skipped my workout that day so I had a really bad calorie imbalance.

Tonight my roomates decided to have a potluck and they had a wedding related announcement to make, I honeslty had no idea what it was. There was nine of us here and a lot of food to eat, I definately over ate tonight but I expected it. The wedding announcement was that they decided to not have the big wedding and instead they are going to do a small ceremony and then we are all going out for supper and then drinking are asses off somewhere. None of us really cared that they decided to go this route, it actually makes my life a little easier because originally I was in charge of doing the slideshow and I was not looking forward to having to contact their parents to get pictures from them. The brides parents are really forgetful and cannot plan anything, while the grooms parents do not have technology so it is really hard to get a hold of them.

This coming week I have decided to lower my sodium intake from my usualy 2800mg to around 2000mg. I was actually very easy to drop it the amount I wanted. All I did was exchange my processed turkey meat for a turkey roast and just slice up the turkey for my sandwhiches. I also exchanged the rice I use, I was using those 1 minute cups of rice you throw in the microwave and now I am going to cook up some whole grain rice for the week and just portion it out everyday. Not only am I saving myself a lot of sodium, but I am actually saving myself money. The processed turkey cost me $9.00 per week, while the turkey roast is only like $20.00-$25.00 and it lasts me three weeks. The rice saves me even more, I had to by three packs of two rice things each week which cost me $7.00 and now I buy the box of rice for $8.00 and it lasts me a month.

Weigh-in, Women and Work

Today my weigh-in went really good, that extra workout I did yesterday was well worth it. I weighed 195.6lbs today which is a 4lbs loss for the week, this puts me back to where I was a month ago.I can now focus on losing the ten pounds that I need for the project10 challenge with Visalus. I would love to be a winner of the $1000, but I think the T-shirt would be nice to have. I started the last block of workouts for the Body Beast program today. Only four more weeks of this program and then I start my running training for the half marathon. I am hoping to get down to the low 180's by the time of the run, which is still 13 weeks away. That is only about one pound a week and that is definately doable if I focus on my diet like I did this past week.

I don't know if I am giving off some sort of lonely vibe, but one guy at work randomly starting talking to me about his idea on how to pick up women. Pretty much his idea is to lie to them, just to get them to come home with you. During his rambling, he did say something I really to need to think about though. He mentioned that you should not be afraid of women. He said that just because one woman shoots you down, there is always another one that will pick you up. I understand that this is true and that it is not the end of the world if a woman says no, but I still have a hard time truly believing it. There is something inside of me that is telling me that if one woman shoots me down, then why wouldn't the rest of them just do the same. There is obviously something about me that the first girl did not like, and maybe all the others girls will see the same thing and shoot me down as well.

I might be switching working locations in the near future. I recently applied for a position that is temporary (6 months), but pays a bit more. When I applied for it, my supervisor straight out told me that I would not like it there. I have heard a bunch of people say that the feed mill is dirty as hell and the shifts are not fun. The problem I have with all that is that is what everyone said about the location that I currently work at. I started out working at the food wharehouse and was transfered to the Agro location this past summer. Everyone told me that the place is supper dusty, smells like crap and that the supervisor is a retard. When I first started working there it did smell a little bad, working with tires can do that, but I do not even notice the smell anymore and my roomates say they can't smell anything unless the actually try to smell my jacket. The place is a lot dustier than the food wharehouse, but everyone made it sound like I would be choking on the dust all day long. The dust barely gets thrown around so it doesn't really bother me. So if they all said all this stuff about the Agro location and it turned out to be a pretty cool place to work, then I don't see a problem with trying out the feed mill. The biggest thing I was worried about was the shifts, I heard it was one week of days and then one weeks of night, switching back and forth all the time. I have recently found out that it is two weeks of 7:00-3:00pm and then two weeks of 3:00-11:00pm. These shifts I can ahndle because all I really need to do it go straight to bed after work when I work the night shifts. I was worried about having to work like 11:00-7:00am, that would have sucked to do, I might have even turned it out if that was the case. The thing is, if for some reason I do not like it there the position is only six months and if I can't survive there for six months then there is something really wrong. When I first applied for the postion I really did not think I even had a chance at getting it because I really don't have that much seniority at work. I have been hearing that not many people would have applied for the position so I have a good chance of getting it. The posting was taken down this weekend so I should hear what is going on somtime this week.

Energy

Today was a pretty interesting day for me. I have been having some issues wth work trying to get my paycheques figures out because I went from part-time status to full-time status back in July. I have been talking to the supervisors for the past few months and letting them know that I do not have nay benefits yet and that I should have gotten a raise. I finally got a response back from them today letting me kow that it should be fixed by next paycheque. In the email that my supervisor recieved from the HR department, it said that I had accumulated three and a half years of hours worked, yet he told me that I would be going up to the three year raise, which I should have gotten back in September. This means that on my next paycheque I wil be getting a $2.00 raise and I will also be getting six months of back pay for the raise I should have gotten back in September. That was good news to hear an for the rest of the day I actually had lots of energy. Normally on Sundays I do not workout because I like to take a least one day off a week to let my body recover, but since I had so much energy today I decided to do a kickboxing workout. I finished my workout, went inside and had my protein shake. After a few minutes I started to fall asleep in my chair so I decided to lay down and have a little nap. This nap went on for the next four hours and I am still tired as hell. Because of this long nap I had an apple for supper, since I did not feel like cooking anything at 9:30pm. I am hoping this wokrs in my favour because I have my weekly weigh-in tomorrow morning and I am hoping it is a good one.

Logging Calories

For the past few years, I have been working to improve my health and fitness. I have lost and gained weight a few times. I started out at 212lbs and got down to 167lbs back in 2010. Since then I have slowly gone up in weight. At the beginning of this year I weighed in at 202lbs, In the first month of the year I managed to drop 6.4lbs, but then I went on a little binge and got back up to 199.6. This past week I decided to track my calories again and focus on my diet this week. In the last five days I managed to get down to 196lbs. Today I wen to quiznos and realized just how many calories is in those sandwhiches, the milk and sun chips did not help either. I have decided that either I need to get a small sub everytime I go to Subway/Quiznos or at least only go there once a month or so. I am hoping this one day of a few extra calories does not hurt me too much on the scale this week, I just need to make sure that tomorrow I eat to plan. After this week is over, I will have four more week left on my current workout program called Body Beast. I am hoping to drop down to about 190-194lbs by then. After that I start my Half Marathon 8-Week training program I have set up for myself. I will be running my Second Half Marathon on May 26th, 2013 and I am hoping to be around 180-184. I know that is a big goal, but since I will be mostly doing a lot of cardio I should be able to drop a few pounds off. I have been really focused this week and I hope this drive carries on for a few more weeks.

Feeling good

I m actually feeling pretty good right now. I have gotten really serious about my eating and my workouts have been fantastic this week. I really hope this keeps up for a long time, it is actually pretty tiring being depressed about things. Being single definately has it's ups and downs. The good thing about being single is not having to spend all that money, but it definately sucks not having someone there you can talk to whenever yuo want. At least for most people they can can look back on their past relationships and remember all the good times they had, when they are feeling a bit depressed. It is a bit different with me because my last, and only, "relationship" was when I was 14 and it only lasted like a month or two. I don't think I can even call it a relationship because we never really went out by ourselves. Everytime we got together we were always in a group of our friends, so we were pretty much like really close friends. It has been over ten years since then and I have not really had anything that would be considered close to a relationship. Everytime I find a girl I like, she either has a boyfriend or just broke up with one and is not ready to start anything at the moment, then I find out they have a new boyfriend a couple months later. I even tried online dating and the best I got was this one girl who I text back and forth a bit. I would love to go to the bar, but none of my friends like to do that. I have gone a couple times with the guys from work, but I don't feel comfortable enough around them to really try anything at the bar. I have no experience in this area of life and I feel like the guys will make fun of me because I do not know what to do or say to any of the girls. I always look at a girl that I think is really cute, but I can't just go over and talk to her because I cannot think of any reason why she would want to talk to me when there are so many other guys in the bar that are a lot better looking and have a lot more confidence. I have a huge fear of being rejected and I really do not understand why because I know that ifa girl turns me down it's not like it is the end of the world, but I still can't bring myself to go up to a girl and talk to her. I also think that I have nothing that women really want. I consider myself to be the "nice guy" and I just think that women would only want to be with me untill they find a guy that they really like or they would want to keep me around so they have someone to talk to about their problems and that is not enough for me.

I think that is all I really have to say for today, this is pretty much what the majority of my blogs will be like. I just write them as the ideas pop into my head.

Thursday Feb. 21st, 2013 - introduction

Hello, for those of you that come across my blogs, and actually decide to follow me, I am going breifly explain what I will be doing with this. I have decided to Start a blog because My emotions have been all over the place for the last couple months and I need to get things off my chest every once in a while. I am not the type of person to talk about my troubles with other people because I feel like I would just be bothering them with something that does not really concern them.

For those of you who really care about who the person is behind the stories, I will tell you all a few things about myself. My name is Rick Kohlman, I am 24 years old and I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. I have a diploma from SIAST in Food and Nutriton Management and I currently work as a material handler with Federated CO-op (I am hoping to move up in the company to a supervisor postion). I currently live with my two best friends, who are engaged, and I hoping to by my own house in the next five years. I have been single for the majority of my life, I had one "girlfriend" when I was 14 for like a summer, and I feel like that is the biggest part of my emotional state. I will most likely be blogging about that for the majority of my blogs.

You can actually also check me out on Youtube (fusiondude890), I make Vlogs on there every once in a while now, I used to make them often before.
http://fusiondude890.myvi.net/